On as Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Really?)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (I think the retailer may take issue to this one)
On Dial soap: Use like regular soap (If you need this instruction, would this REALLY help you??)
On a Swann frozen dinner: serving suggestion: Defrost (only a suggestion)
On a hotel's shower cap box: fits one head (yes but what if you are Zaphod Beeblebrox?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: (printed on the bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (ha ha too late)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are we really that stupid?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (if you are that dumb, don't you think you need a little burn?)
On a child's cough medicine: Do not drive or operate heavy machinery. (I think this applies always. can we just all agree on that)
On Nytol sleep aid: May cause drowsiness. (may cause, it may be an effective product)
On a Korean kitchen knife: keep out of children (OK...)
On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only (where else could they be used, lets ponder.... I guess that prevents use inside the body...)
On a Japanese food processor: not to be used for the other use (I'm curious what that other use could be)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: warning contains nuts
On an American Airlines package of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts (what about the warning that it contains nuts??)
On a Swedish Chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (What?!)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly (and across the nation children's hearts break)
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